Help.....it's hopeless!

As I travel and do more conferences, I am stunned by the level of frustration and feelings of hopelessness. Many homes are like those we see on television nanny programs. Parents love their children but don't have the tools to parent properly. You would think that with all the books and literature produced about parenting that solving problems would be a simple matter of reading a book.

Unfortunately, books skim the surface of problems and deal with only one area at a time. You would have to read hundreds in order to know how to deal with every problem of parenting. Some problems will never be dealt with in a book. Publishers have to make money to stay in business. They can't afford to spend thousands publishing a book that will appeal to a small percentage of people. So where can that small percentage go to find help?

They can call or send me an e-mail. I am in the process of writing booklets (over 80 of them) to serve every area of parenting not just the big topics. These booklets may only start the process or for some they may list steps to solving the problem. Either way....I am your partner. We can do this.

If you have read my bio on the website, you know that I have a psychology degree. I don't want to ever make anyone serving in the psychological field feel bad about their job. However, you must be careful in believing everything you hear. The overall feeling of contemporary psychology is that parenting is a losing project. According to their philosophy, you can love your baby, have fun with your preschooler, be involved with your elementary student; but when it comes to pre-teen and teens - your life as a parent is over. At that point you will suffer no matter what you do to prevent it. Your child is destined to be rebellious and hard to handle and basically will make your life miserable. You will be forced to watch the divide between you and your child grow into the Grand Canyon and it will probably end your relationship.

How depressing! Why would anyone want to have children knowing that's in their future.

Well my depressed parent....I HAVE GOOD NEWS!!!!

CONTEMPORARY PSYCHOLOGY IS LYING TO YOU

God has given you the tools and the abilities to have a great child, a warm and loving home and a relationship that will last until you're laying in a hospital room preparing to die. You can raise children who care about your well being and who will provide a lifetime of love and will have personal lives you can admire! Whether you are a Christian or not - you have the tools within your scope of parenting.

Parents are the most powerful people in the world. We have the ability to change the future!

"Alright Debbie! Tell me how....please tell me how."

It's not that hard and it won't take days of time. It will take a commitment and some determination.

Start by sending me an e-mail and letting me know what problems you have. ALL PARENTING AND FAMILY ISSUES CAN BE SOLVED. You may have to suffer a few consequences along the way, but they can be solved. It will be easier if we begin a plan when children are young, but older children and adults will respond as well. IT'S NOT HOPELESS.

Call your church, school or social group and ask for The Family Training Center to come and do some of our 80 classes. Even though I was also bound by some of the issues within the publishing business, I encourage you to get my new book, Discipline Exposed. I worked extremely hard to provide the necessary information for you, the reader, to instantly see why your child isn't responding to your parenting style. I also included ways you can improve that style and get the results you want. Discipline Exposed is not a gimmick, it's a way of life that transforms everyone in the family.

I can also teach you the steps you need to learn how to be a Mommy Detective and find out those little clues that will lead to success. There's a 5 point plan on how to be a Mommy Detective on my website. I'm in the process of writing my second book, Mommy Detective so you can evaluate your own home.

Parenting is not a hopeless project. You can do this! I guarantee it!

Write me and let's get started to making your home all you envisioned it to be.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Our children - little apples of Gold

If you've read my blog at Family Tracks, you know about IKE blowing through our town. Over 300,000 people in Ohio were without power. Debris was everywhere. I was one of the lucky ones with power. Unfortunately I didn't have Internet, cable or phones for several days.

Before I could roll my trash can to the street I had to carve a path through hundreds of apples that had fallen off our tree. They covered our driveway and many had been smashed when my husband left for work.

I grabbed a rake and began pushing them to the side. I felt as though I was in an apple rodeo. I'd have 10 or 15 in the claws of my rake but as I pushed them to the side, 4 or 5 would break loose and make a run for the slope in the driveway. It wasn't long until 40-50 were at the end of the driveway and several made it to the middle of the street. No problem, right? Just get behind them and do the golf thing. Hit them for all it's worth and send them sailing up the driveway into the pile.

Golf - no way. Pool - maybe. Most of them made it 1/2 to 1/4 up the driveway and then rolled back down. The few that did go sailing hit the pile of apples and sent them spinning in all directions as if the cue ball had just hit dead center......and of course that sent another 50 or so down the driveway.

Since my back wasn't doing so well, I didn't want the repetitive action of picking each apple up. The only way to get them to the top of the hill was if I raked them to the side of the driveway and then up the grass. Those pesky little apples needed something to hang on to in order to make it up the driveway - they just couldn't do it alone. I felt sorry for the ones that escaped my guidance and were smushed in the road by passing cars.

It made me think of our children. If you'll notice the first picture - in the middle of all those apples is a bird's nest. I'm so glad it's fall and that in all probability the little ones housed in that nest are grown and gone. But it reminded me that our children need to have the comfort of our nest. They need to be shielded from storms and wind. They need to know that even when the world dishes out everything it can in order to rattle their resolve; our children can return home and find peace, comfort and love.

It breaks my heart to watch shows like Supernanny. How awful for children to feel lost in their own homes, to be struggling alone without the proper love, training and peace that parents are supposed to give. The other side of that however, is that parents need the love and support of their children as well.

When the home is at it's best, parents aren't trying to play golf or pool with their children. When problems arise they aren't trying to "send them sailing" up a hill.

Instead, they provide guidance. They ease them to the sidelines and guide them up the hill, holding their hands the entire way.

And the children....they are protected by their parent's guidance. They aren't alone in the middle of the road facing the tires of an oncoming car. They aren't flying full force into the piles of unguided children at school. Instead, they are guided by the loving rake and the cool grass of their parent's wisdom. That wisdom builds a bond that can't be broken and will cause the child to forever desire their parent's love.

When you choose to guide instead of provoke, your little Apples of Gold will have the chance to become all they were designed to be.

Seeking His Wisdom

Debbie