What can you do to find some meaning and purpose among all the tedious trivia that engulfs a busy moms day? Chart your progress. Knowing that you aren't standing still and that you are making progress will help you feel good about your job. Everyone likes a pat on the back. Unfortunately...not many people pat the backs of young mothers. Most moms don't feel like engineers who love to make charts and lists. But...if you bend the following tips to fit your busy schedule, you may find a little charting is better than a night out with the girls. One mother who was depressed used my list but made it as minimal as possible. She limited herself to one word. She hung a blank page on the fridge with her four children's names going down the side. Every day she wrote one word that described an accomplishment. Hug, quiet, kind, sharing....While it didn't make sense to anyone else - it made perfect sense to her. Her chart got her through the long days of gloomy winter and she was able to accomplish several personal goals.
For those of you that can handle a little charting - how about tweaking the following list to fit your style?
1. Take the time to write down your goals. It's important to have a written account of what you are trying to accomplish. When you get discouraged, pull out your list and calculate your progress. Even if you are only taking small steps toward those goals, documenting your progress will help you feel like your goals are closer even when it doesn't seem possible.
2. Make sure your list of goals include even the smallest items. For example, be sure an document every new word your child learns or the fact that little Tommy made it six hours before taking big brother's toy.
3. Place a star by each day that you feel good about your job and note the possible reasons. Sun was shining, hubby was sweet, bills were paid. If you know the possible reasons for your discouragement, you can build a plan to avoid those down days.
4. Chart the moments you take for yourself. Things like a bubble bath at night while hubby watches the kids, reading a page from the latest novel each time you slip into the bathroom, having a special cup of tea to celebrate naptime. Whatever you do to have a moment to yourself should be charted. Why? Because it reconfirms to your subconscious that you did have 22 minutes to yourself today. I've had days when I wished for just 10 minutes - to know I had 22 would have at least caused me to smile and say, "Whoa...really?!"
5. Chart how many times you say "I love you" and how many times your children or your spouse says it. Sometimes we feel down because we think no one appreciates our work. When you are forced to look at how much time you are appreciated, it helps to dispel the notion that you aren't.
I think every husband should take at least one day a month to insist his children say thank you to mom. If they are too little to remember on their own - Dad should help them make a card or draw a picture for mom with the theme of thank you. Dad should clip flowers from the yard, clap for her at supper or just give her the biggest hug and personal thank you he can. After all, how many men would keep working at their job if there was no paycheck and no gratitude from the boss???
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
