Help! My husband and I are going to drive 800 miles to grandma's for Labor Day. We have three children ages 3, 5 and 8. They are active and we worry that the trip will be unbearable. Please tell me you have suggestions to help us survive.
I’m so glad you asked this question. Most parents gear their vacations for family fun but neglect to consider the attention levels and physical endurance of their children. The extended excitement an adult feels can't be sustained by a small child. While you may think the anticipation of riding grandma’s new horse is anticipation enough to keep you excited on a 12 hour car ride, a child’s excitement for one goal will only last about 20 minutes at most. After that, the immediate needs will kick in and if you are not prepared it’s going to be a long boring, frustrating ride.
Until high school and the training it takes to stay focused on long term projects, children have a difficult time with long range goals. It’s good to have the goal of “When we get to grandma’s we can do…” but you must also have 30 minute goals. Don’t dumb down your child by simply putting on video after video until you arrive. The day after “couch potato” day can be very difficult as well. It’s much better to keep your child moving and thinking even in a car.
Fun can be achieved even on a 12 hour car ride...but you must be creative and prepared.
1. Be sure your children have had a good nights sleep and a good breakfast before you start. I know this sounds simplistic, but I've talked to a lot of parents who say they like to start the vacation with a bang. They suspend all rules (which isn't exactly bad) and let their child stay up the night before watching movies. They hope they will sleep the next day and give mom and dad a peaceful ride. They each grab at donuts and then try to stay calm and focused the rest of the day. Nope....sorry....won't work. Most children respond to headaches and tummy aches by being agitated and out of sorts. It's much better for children to get their proper rest and a filling meal.
2. Make sure each child has what they need to feel comfortable. Personal pillow, blanket, a cuddle toy or maybe comfy slippers. If possible, give each child their own space and room for their own belongings. Tight cramped uncomfortable seating will deliver a miserable ride.
3. Make sure you have lots of fun music. Even with seat belt laws you can teach your children to do what I call “Chair dancing”. Get them to move their feet and hands around in specific motions. If you do this every 30 minutes or so, you can avoid that antsy feeling children get when they’ve been still way too long.
4. Make a chart that children can see and look forward to. List times for Chair dancing, verbal games and bathroom breaks. If there are any fun stops along the way list those as well. The smaller the increment between interesting things to do, the quicker time will pass for your child. Be sure and also schedule quiet time, book time, snacks and naps. THIS IS NOT A WRITTEN IN STONE SCHEDULE. If you’ve planned book time and your child is having fun with a hand held game…don’t interrupt. Your written schedule is just a suggestion of the things you have in your bag of tricks and when to use them.
5. Try to pick sleepy time snacks. Your child won’t be ruined by one day of different eating routines. If a full tummy helps your child relax and sleep, don’t insist on a salad or simple carrot sticks. Let him have the large shake if it means he will sleep a little longer and give the driver uninterrupted quiet time.
6. When I took trips with my three children, I packed each one an activity bag. The bag included favorite cups, toys, activities and at least two new things. With these bags I could call "activity time" and each child could do something they wanted to do. After all, not every child will want to color. Perhaps your three year old will want to color while your 8 year old will want to thread a new beaded bracelet.
7. Make sure there is family time. Present a snack of some kind and talk with the children. Ask them all kinds of questions followed by a tickle session or a contest for the best joke. My children loved the silly songs of Ray Stevens. Even at 4 Ken would try to sing along or would laugh at the silliness of the song. If you have fun, your children will too. Don't anticipate a bad ride. Instead lead your children in a chorus of laughter as you ride through each town.
8. Teach your children to look around, enjoy the view and pay attention to the scenery. Make a bingo game that has a different object in each square. Laminate the cards so each child can use an oil pencil to mark on the lamination. This can be wiped off and the game used over and over. My children loved looking for lakes, tractors, water towers, bridges, churches, cows, red cars, schools, and restaurants we had never heard of. Ron said it was also helpful that they were on the lookout for firetrucks and police cars.
9. While most men don't like to stop a lot and you certainly don't want to extend trip time....it is helpful for children to stop at regular times. Make it a game to see how quickly each of you can get inside, go to the restroom, get a drink of water and get back to the car. Perhaps the one with the most wins from the day will receive a small prize or an extra dollar to spend during the vacation.
10. We liked to play the "Did you know" game. This game helped to prepare my children to see grandparents they really didn't know. It's played like 20 questions only it has to be something about the people you are visiting. I still remember the look of awe on my twins faces when they learned Grandpa went to France after he was drafted. Their eyes grew big when they discovered he cooked for 500 men. I'll never forget Jamie asking Grandma why she didn't give up and let grandpa do all the cooking.
I think the most important piece of advice I can share with you is to stop thinking of the ride as a possible problem. Instead, try to understand how hard it might be for your children and get creative in how you can help them enjoy the ride. Rather than thinking how you can "punish" them into being quiet; try to invent creative ways to help all of you have a great time!
Have fun and enjoy the ride.
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
