I find great personal satisfaction when I see a side of an issue that other people don't see. I like to turn and tweak an issue until I'm positive that I've considered every angle and every possible cause. For example, this issue with Carrie Prejean, Miss California. While I was thinking about how often liberals and the gay liberation rights movement is "mean spirited and dangerously aggressive" someone left a comment on a blog that made me smile. "Why is a gay man judging a woman's beauty pageant? They don't find women beautiful."
I laughed....good point! That's the kind of tweaking that I enjoy.
Many parents are worried about their children being swayed by the enticements of evil in our country. As a Mommy Detective, I see it from a different perspective.
When a newscaster bellows, "60% of high school teens say they have tried drugs and 40% say they do drugs at least once a month." - I don't go into fear mode. Instead I ask a question that I've never heard from any media source.
Why do teens need drugs? If we are going to be good Mommy Detectives, we must consider the whys as well as the facts. Because so many parents avoid that question, the current thought is that "teens are just naturally going to want drugs."
What nonsense! A happy teen with a strong self-esteem isn't going to be swayed by some slick talking drug dealer. A teen that respects his parents and has fun at home isn't going to ask his friends - "What can I do to stimulate my miserable life?" And here's the biggie.....a successful teen isn't going to hang around with drug addicts! Duh!
So why doesn't the media and psychologist ask why kids needs drugs? Simple....it's not news. Asking why doesn't sell advertising. Asking why doesn't bring more business into the counseling sector. And asking why may make parents feel guilty which may cause them to turn your station off.
But.....if you really want to help protect your child - ask the question! Ask yourself at least once a day, "What am I doing to help my child feel good about his life and his family?" At least once a day - maybe while riding home from work - ask yourself, "Have I done anything to cause my child to want to escape or to run to other teens for affirmation?" Make sure you are doing things in your home that will build relationships, offer information in a non-aggressive way and build a strong self-esteem that doesn't need to be jump started with some deviant behavior.
Knowing the needs of your child and doing everything you can to stay close to them will make them strong - and will send them running to you for help and consolation - rather than turning to drugs.
Talk, talk, talk to your children. Not in a "preachy" way, but rather with a conversational tone. Allow them to have an opinion. You should NOT insist that they share all of your opinions, but you should talk with them often enough so that they know your opinions. If you help your child respect you and you share a strong communication level - they will consider your opinions before making stupid decisions.
Make sure they see for themselves the end results of bad decisions. Allow them to see homeless drunks on the side of a street. Involve the entire family in serving at a homeless shelter or halfway house and let them see the end result of drugs or crime.
Encourage them to strive to be like good role models and make a success of their lives.
You have a choice. Either accept the lame excuses of the media or work to be the exception. Work to make your home a pleasant and wonderful place to be. Work to strengthen your relationship with your children so they will want to accept your opinions. If you make your children strong in their own ideas.....you won't have to be afraid that they will fall to evil ways.
If you would like to know more on this subject, purchase my book Discipline Exposed and find out how you can protect your children.
You don't have to be afraid of the future for your children. You can be a successful parent!
Seeking His Wisdom
Debbie
