A piece of the Puzzle

Children are like sponges. They will absorb everything in their environment. As Mommy detectives we must evaluate every part of their lives and make a conscious decision to give "value" to every clue.

One of the most valuable clues to a child's behavior is the relationship between their parents. As the divorce rate climbs we must consider the problems it will cause the children. I don't want to get into the complicated issues of divorce - at least not in this blog - but we must accept that divorce does cause problems. Whether or not it is right to divorce (and in some cases it is) isn't the issue. The problems you have with your spouse will change your child's behavior. No matter how careful, no matter how kind or loving - your child will be affected by your divorce.

By the same token, if you stay together you child will be affected by your marriage. The simple fact is that your child is watching you. If you are kind to your spouse, he will subconsciously learn to be kind to his spouse. If you are argumentative, vindictive, spiteful or a nagging spouse, your child will relate to others in the same way.

Your marriage is a huge part of how you teach your child. It will determine his pre-conceived ideas about outside relationships.

One of your first Mommy Detective clues should be to evaluate your marriage and be sure you are sending the right message about how to treat others. Only a strong healthy marriage or (in the case of single parent homes) a strong healthy relationship with those outside the family - will produce a child ready for healthy relationships.

Before investigating other clues, be sure you are leading by example. Be sure your actions toward your spouse represent a healthy picture of love.

Tomorrow Ron and I will celebrate 34 wonderful years of marriage. Our children are quick to say that watching our relationship has taught them a lot about love. I am confident that you too will be able to help your child visualize "love" by how your treat your spouse or those outside your home.


A few funnies.....

The wife turned to her husband and asked, "Will you love me when my hair turns gray?"

"Why not?" he said. "Haven't I loved you through five other shades?"

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A young man was proposing to his girlfriend: "Honey, I love you, but I wish I could give you the things my friend Benny has --boats, cars, airplanes -- but honey, I really love you."

She replied, "I love you too, baby, but tell me more about Benny."

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Dave told his wife Marylou he would take her out to dine like royalty.

Later Marylou reported, "We started out at Burger King and wound up at the Dairy Queen."

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She: "This is an ideal spot for a picnic."

He: "It must be. Fifty million insects can't be wrong."

If laughter, love and compassion fill your home,your children will always return.


Seek His Wisdom,

Debbie