Did you know that children never really cut the "parental" umbilical cord? Oh, some may think they have. They get all puffed up and rant and rave about their rights. They move out and think that distance will somehow prove that they have left their parents in the dust. But....the truth of the matter is that I've never met a child or an adult that didn't either have deep feelings for their parents - or wished they had parents they could respect. It's just a fact of life. Children are connected to their parents. It's part of who we are.
But....this isn't a lesson on how to respond properly to your parents. This lesson is for parents.
Mom....Dad....once you decide to have a child, everything you do or say or feel will cause a reaction in your children. Sorry. Nothing you can do about it, it's gonna be there!
So, when you come home from work and you are really mad at your boss. When you stomp around the house and yell at your children - they are going to think they are the cause of all your stress.
Mom, when you are too tired to go on and you start crying while loading the washer - little Johnny is going to hear you and think he's done something wrong.
Every child I've ever counseled with during their parent's divorce "always" believes that if they were just better, if they had been good, if they had worked and received better grades - somehow all of that would have made a difference and Mom and Dad would be together.
Children get their clues for their safety and well being from you!
Why did Laura Bush address the nation right after 911? To caution all parents to be careful about letting their children watch the news. "Sit with them and reassure them that they are safe," was her plea to parents.
So...during these difficult times - watch your child's face. Be careful about discussing the budget or Dad's job in front of them. Rather than emphasizing the bad, try to concentrate on the good. Even if you are losing your home or you have to go bankrupt, make a point to sit and explain it to your child. Make sure you concentrate on the fact that you all will be okay because you have each other. You all will survive because your love is strong. Give your child hope even when facing the worst situation.
Even when life is hard, your child still needs love. Don't stop loving, hugging, tickling and praising your child. Your children are your most prized possessions. Treasure them and make sure they make it through this with a grateful, loving and positive heart.
Want an example? Rent the movie "Life is Beautiful" with Roberto Benigni. This is a story of great parenting during the most trying situation. A father and son are sent to a consentration camp. Through it all, the father not only gives the child a reason to be hopeful, but he helps him survive that horrible ordeal. I laughed and cried through the entire picture. A must see!
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
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