Watch out for potholes!

The worst damage my car ever suffered from was when I didn't see a pothole until it was too late.  I tried to swerve and couldn't miss the gigantic hole in front of me.  I dented the underside of the car, busted the tire and sent all of us crashing into the curb.

Have you ever felt like that in your personal life?  Someone you trusted hurt you.  A company you worked for stole your future.  A dear friend became a devastating enemy.  The love you offered was trampled like so much dirt.  You didn't see the danger ahead and it hit you with full force.

C.S. Lewis advised "Don't ever give your love, even to a dog.  Someday it will crush you."

We've all let someone down or been hurt by the decisions or actions of another.  But...there is no hurt greater than being hurt by a child.  Sometimes the hurt comes in full frontal blows.  Sometimes the hurt is because we have to stand by and watch them make bad decisions.  Sometimes the hurt is in the form of embarrassment.  Have you ever had to listen as a mom went on and on about her teenager who has gone wild?  The pain seems to spill out like oil dripping from a busted car.

And then the real damage begins to show.  The blame game.  Why didn't I see that coming?  Why didn't I take care of that?  But I taught him better!  Why would he do that? 

Here's the biggest piece of advice I can give to any parent.  Whether it's a newborn, a teen or an adult.....children will not remember the things that were not emphasized!  They do not get information by osmosis.  Yes, they watch your life for added emphasis and understanding - but real depth to their understanding must come from teaching.  Unfortunately, It's impossible for you to cover everything.  If I sat with a child from the time it was born until the day he died and we talked 10 hours a day, I could never cover every life issue he would need to learn or consider.  And....there wouldn't be time to just "live" life. 

So...the reality is that whatever you choose to promote in your family....that will be something your child remembers and allows to become a part of his life as well.  And, by the same token, whatever you neglect in your life becomes an open door for problems.  Satan is very good at finding those doors and sneaking in. 

Your job then is to make sure you have a plan to cover all the things that you feel are "vital" to your child's success.  Big job - yes!  But....you can do it. 

And about all those things that you can't cover.....Forgive yourself and then Forgive your child.  Continue to teach and instruct and then move on as you ask God to cover you both with his love and forgiveness.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie