Never punish bystanders.
Punishment is an action that should be kept between you and your child. If your child’s restriction causes disappointment to another child, it will make you the villain rather than the teacher. Public punishment will cause your child to dislike you rather than evaluating his wrong. His friends will dislike you and you will become the brunt of jokes.
Think about the feelings of the birthday child or parent when you say no to their invitation. You are punishing them and the success of their plans. Your child will be missing from the party, the guest list will be lower, the parent who spent the money to provide for your child will be disappointed and hurt and the birthday child is minus a gift or his favorite friend.
Consider the teacher or church that produces a nice play or event but must scramble to find a replacement when your child can’t attend. How will they feel about you when they have to work overtime so you and your child can work out your disagreements.
It's much better to teach your child that commitments must continue. Restrict him before and after but not during an event that involves other people. By being sensitive to their needs you will teach your child to be sensitive to others and to respect you for your compassion. Never punish bystanders.
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
2 comments:
Debbie. That is such great advice. So many times parents just react before they think about how that situation affects other children.Thanks so much!
Thanks Laura....Unfortunately, it's so true. Several times I had to hold my children while they cried about the disappointment of their friend not being able to enjoy a day with us. It was sad to know that the parents had not only punnished their child but mine as well.
I'm finishing a new booklet that I'll send to you ASAP. I hope you like it!
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