Today I want to share something I only briefly mention in the booklet. I ask....What problems must be addressed for a child to accept your faith? Problem #5 Teaching disciplines of faith is not a priority in your church.
In counseling with children who are struggling with their faith, most problems center on the fact that they don't know the Bible and they are clueless about what their church or parents believe. Part of the problem with both churches and parents is that they say one thing and do another. This produces another deadly "philosophy" lurking in most churches that will kill a child's chance to live a consistent Godly life.
Many churches have bought into the "contemporary" thought that an individual life doesn't matter. In other words, if an individual slips and falls spiritually that other Christians should do the polite thing and look the other way. We should make them feel comfortable in their fall and that way maybe they won't leave the church in shame. Unfortunately this is extremely confusing to children. This confusion can lead a child to believe that sin is relative and that God won't really punish you for doing the wrong thing. They will think, "Oh, the Ten commandments are just suggestions on how to live. God won't really send you to Hell. He loves everyone." (check out my grandmother's illustration in the God's House series The Pastor's role in the church - Part II
Why would a child be confused by this type of contemporary theology? At home, when mom says "do this" and you don't do it, what happens? Punishment. It's necessary for a child (or any adult that's still learning) to look at the world in black and white terms. Do this get a reward. Do it wrong and get nothing - or punishment.
It's like a writing technique Angela Hunt (Awarding winning fiction author) explained. She said that all new writers needed to learn the rules. "Writing is artistic and there will come a time when you need to break the rules. But....you can't do that successfully until you've spent time learning and obeying the rules."
That's great parenting advice. We need to understand that between 0 and 15 a child is learning all the rules and obeying them so that someday he/she can break the rules wisely and only when necessary - without ruining their life.
If they break rules before they even learn them....chances are they won't ever learn the reasons behind those rules. They also will not have lived in the shadow of those rules and won't understand the protection they provide.
Your child needs to see other families and adults obeying the rules. And if they fail, your child needs to see the consequences of those failures. I'm glad that we no longer kick people out of the church when they fail. And...I do believe we should try to counsel those people and help them get back on track. But....they should not continue to teach Sunday school, sing in the choir or stay on the board. There must be consequences for sin. And if they aren't in a position of leadership, it's important to carefully (with God's love) point out the personal consequences for their sin.
Don't children just get it by reading the Bible?
NO. How much of your life do you trust to reading the writings of America's founding fathers? Its great reading and you may agree with it, but most of the time you will base your decisions on those readings "PLUS" things you have learned from "people" in your family and others you have watched their lives. Leaning must be rooted in our daily lives to actually become a part of us.
I don't like knowing someone is watching me. I think it's rude and not Christian somehow to look at someone else's life.
Hum....what planet do you live on? We are all being watched. My children watch everything I do. My friends are watching my life. My husband watches me. My parents watch me. People I work with are scrutinizing everything I do. All I have to do is announce I'm a Christian and every liberal I know is taking notes on my life. We watch celebrities, newsmen, politicians and pastors. AND THE BIGGIE.....God is watching you!
If you are offended by my eyes, what in the world do you think God is doing? Or....maybe you don't think he's really watching. Maybe you think most of the time his back is turned and what you do really isn't noted. Unfortunately, he knows it all. He knows what you whispered in your husband's ear just before your child's conception. He knows what you said to a waitress in a town where no one knows you. He knows what you said in confidence to your doctor. And he knows the awful things you screamed about when no one is home to hear.
The rest of us are nothing compared to what God sees and hears. And that's the point. Your child needs to trust the truth sprinkled through the entire Bible....the truth that there's nothing you can do to hide from God.
Take Adam and Eve? It was just an apple for heaven's sake. Why was God so mad? Why did they have to leave the Garden? Why didn't God provide a way to get back in the Garden? It was just a silly little apple. What about Moses? He was a good man. He was the reason millions were freed from the slave pits. He was a great leader. But he threw the tablets in a moment of frustration and anger. It was no problem for God to write them again. If he could put stars in orbit re-writing the tablets was nothing. But disobedience was huge! You child needs to understand that it's not the act - it's the disobedient heart that will cause trouble every time.
Disobedience is huge with God! If your child doesn't realize that, he will always have a tough time with his faith.
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
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