"Children are not dogs, but many parents treat them as dogs. All a dog needs to be happy is food, water, play times and healthcare. If we provide that, we receive a loyal puppy that brings us many hours of fun and companionship. Unfortunately, children must be trained and their love for us is not dependent on simply caring for them. Still, most parents think if they provide a nice home, clothes, healthcare and plenty of money for the fun stuff....that children will reach the age of 13 and love them forever. When this doesn't happen parents can slip into despair."
About nine months ago I began following The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel. Cesar Millan believes that dogs can't be happy or content with their masters unless they are properly trained. Watching The Dog Whisperer is like watching Supernanny only with dogs. Dogs that are out of control with habits or aggression can be turned around in just one day long session with Cesar.
After watching many hours of Cesar and his techniques - I understand why I can get children to obey when parents can't. Children are NOT dogs....but they do have the talent to "read" a parent's energy much like a dog can. And...children will always respond to that energy in the same way a dog does.
Want proof? Think about when your child chooses to act out. Yes, he may be tired or hungry or just out of sorts....but more than likely that is also when you have had a tough day and you desperately need his cooperation. You are also tired and weary and instead of being "calm and assertive" you respond with anger and frustration which in turn brings on a meltdown by your child.
I was pretty sure I was on to something but not quite ready to share it with you. I continued to watch the Dog Whisperer and found myself yelling at the tube with comments like, "YES! That's what I do for kids." or "That's right...that's what parents should do."
It wasn't until I bought his first book, "Cesar's Way" and was half way through the introduction that I started smiling. On page four he states, "After applying my techniques, you may even begin to understand yourself better. You'll look at your own behavior in a different light, and may find yourself changing the ways you interact with your children, your spouse, or your boss. After all, humans are pack animals, too!"
Just a few sentences later he introduced a letter form The Capino Family.
"Dear Cesar,
Thank you so much for your show.....The funny thing is you've changed me and my family's life and we don't even own a dog. I'm a 41-year-old mother of 2 (5&6). I was having a terrible time disciplining them (I learned they had no boundaries and limitations). My kids were pushing me around, literally, in public places and at home. And then I saw your show.
Since then I have trained myself to become a more assertive parent, using a more authority energy, demanding my space as an authority figure.......My life has changed and so have they. To my amazement, my children have become more disciplined (and there's less fighting) and I found they actually like responsibilities and chores.....You have not only taught humans about their dogs, you have taught humans about themselves."
WOW! There's a lot we have to learn. So....I hope you will join me for a series called "The Child Whisperer" where we will discuss some of Cesar's techniques and see how they apply to parenting.
I am sure this series will show you how to do exactly what I would do if I came to your home!
Seeking His Wisdom,
Debbie
1 comment:
debbie...Great to see you! Looking forward to following your blog. I have a copy of your book Disciplined Exposed...I love what you have to say about parenting!
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