Thank you for all your prayers!

I think God must look at people like me with a "tsk, tsk, tsk" every so often. I'm always concerned about doing the right thing. I spend a lot of time researching my opinions, my work ethics and my daily routines - just to be sure that I'm on task and doing what God would have me do.


Then there's a little hic-cup followed by a medium hic-up followed by a large gasp and an explosion. There I stand in the middle of a rubble of hopes and dreams and wonder what in the world happened. All my plans, all my research, all my hopes and dreams are merely a pile of broken pieces surrounded by a lot of dust. I quickly look around and wonder if others have noticed. "I'll bet she thinks I messed up." "Maybe he wonders why I'm not finished with this project or that one." "Oh my, please dear God....please don't let her feel like I've let her down!"

I fret and worry and wish that I could somehow be perfect - but alas! Failed again.

I love writing on my blogs. I love my readers and want to help them. But this week, I've felt like the little hic-cup of last week's surgery blossomed into an explosion of events that couldn't be helped and yet prevented me from writing.

Have you every felt pushed along by circumstances? Have you ever wondered what your friends thought of you? Have you ever felt like you failed and yet you know you did the very best you could?

If you answered yes to those questions then you are just like everyone on the planet. Even the most productive, resourceful and sanctified Christian has had at least one week or one month of stressful "I'm not preforming at my best" days.

And if you answered no to those questions - then you probably aren't human. You must be an angel only visiting and using the computer because it would be something novel to do. (Which means you probably don't need my writing anyway.)

The best news of all is that God understands. He expects us to "be" the best person we can be. He wants us to "strive" to do all that he has called us to do. But....I know that he is also compassionate. He can read our hearts. He knows when we are goofin' off and he is also aware of those special times when the circumstances were just out of our control. He knows the truth about our lives and he loves us anyway. Ahhhh....isn't that reassuring?
My surgery went fine. It took a lot more out of me than I thought it would and therefore my busy schedule was interrupted much longer than I had hoped. But....I do appreciate all the prayers and thoughts and I hope that I'm now on the mend!
I love you all and I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas Season.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

FYI

Just in case everyone is wondering what's going on with Debbie and her sites.....I have been preparing for surgery. I will have what I hope will be minor surgery tomorrow morning.
Please say a prayer for me. Hopefully I will be able to return to daily postings beginning Tuesday. I have so much material to send your way!

God bless you and I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas season!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Child abuse destroys lives

On my Family Tracks blog I'm doing a series on abuse.  My first post was about the fact that abuse destroys lives.  I thought I would run the Children's version here.

All parents are very busy.  When you decide to bring a new life into the world - you are also deciding to double your work load.  For the next 18 years plus, you will put another human and their needs above your own.  You will be in construction mode to help give them the best home life you can provide.  You will share all your money, your possessions and as much time as you can to give them the start they need to be successful in life. 

But do you realize that while you are in the "providing" mode....you must also be in the "preventing" mode. 

Abuse will destroy your child's ability to function properly in his adult life. 

Physical abuse will send him/her one of two ways.  Either they will be filled with fear and guilt or they will fight like dogs in protection mode.  Physical abuse also strips all self-esteem and makes it extremely difficult to establish proper self-esteem later. 

Take note "strict" parents.  Even if you think you are only administering proper punishment - it can be "interpreted" by your child as physical abuse and create the same loss of self-esteem.  PLEASE I beg you....read my book on discipline and learn the proper way to discipline.  Discipline is extremely important and must be done properly or it will damage your child's life.

While physical abuse (punishment or molesting) can ruin a child's life - mental abuse often is even more damaging.

I heard one mother say, "I would never abuse my child.  I don't agree with physical punishment of any kind."  Later she brought her child to me for counseling.  The child was fearful, couldn't function socially and had no self-esteem.  It only took ten minutes for me to see the problem.  Mom announced in front of the child that she was lazy, a slob, stupid, fat and a complete disappointment.  She followed those daggers with, "But she's my child and I love her so much."  When she reached to hug her daughter, the young girl turned away.  The mother looked at me and complained.  "See...see what I have to put up with.  She's mean and a horrible child." 

It's been proven that it will take 10 loving compliments to cross out one negative statement!

That means that if you are dishing out negative statements all day long followed by one hug and kiss at night - you are failing your child.  Your child will see his home as a negative place to be.  No wonder they turn on us when they are teens.

I have a challenge for you today.  Get a pen and paper and for the next week keep a record of every statement you say to your husband and to your children.  Make four columns.  Label those four columns  Name....Date......Positive......Negative.  Every time you make a comment to that person record the date and if it was positive or negative.  At the end of the week you'll be able to tell if your home is positive or negative.

I pray today that you will show the positive, powerful love of Christ in your home and allow your child to become all that God created him to be.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #12 - Protect your child's innocence

It's important to protect your child's innocence.  We live in a world of predators.  Unfortunately most predators will never meet your child.  Most predators will never invade your home or your child's school.  Most predators take the cowards route into the heart and mind of your child.  Through the TV and Internet predators are "teaching" your child to lay down his/her youth for the sting of premature adulthood.

Movies promote that young boys should lose their virginity at the tender age of 10-12, while young girls should experiment with sexual ideas by the age of 10. 

Parents have always allowed young girls to play house and pretend to be mothers as young as preschool.  Young preschool boys played hunter and pretended to go to work like their dads. Imitating parents is a good thing for children.  However, predators have decided to make their jobs easier by attacking the natural walls of childhood and making it "acceptable" to talk sex with a small child.  I cringe thinking about the fact that some pedophiles and perverts are actually making movies, influencing TV and Internet and writing books designed to destroy the natural protection walls of youth. 

So what's a parent to do?  Protect your child from media that suggests it's good for a small child to think about sex.  Give them time to develop their own personalities - without outside influence - before introducing the sexual theme.  If your child asks about sex - ask questions first....answer honestly - but don't introduce information that's not required until it's age appropriate.  A child asked his mother where he came from.  She went into a 30 minute explanation.  He looked at her with a quizzed expression and said, "Johnny said he was born in Mexico and he wondered where I came from. 

Give your child a great gift - give him/her an innocent childhood.  They will thank you for it!

See my new post on Family Tracks - Are you infected with this terrible disease?

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Children - Obesity - NEA

I know I promised not to get mad....but I'm really angry this morning.  I'm angry at a government that continues to strip America of her freedoms and I'm frustrated and angry that they are attacking the family with a vengeance.

THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU HOW TO RAISE YOUR CHILD!  If you give up that right not only will your child be in danger...our country will not have a future.

Abuse is wrong.  It's against all laws of Christianity and all civil laws as well.  While Family services should rescue abuse victims, there is a fine line that the government can not cross.  And....it's time parents unite and let the government know that we will not put up with this type of interference.

When my children were in elementary school, I was as involved as I had time to be and I let the teachers know that I would support their efforts to teach my children.  However, one day my children were very nervous because of an announcement the principal made.  He responded to a rumor the children had passed around.  He announced that he "did" have an electric paddle and he would use it on unruly children.  Amie was especially anxious and I was furious! 

I put my children back in the car and we drove to the school.  I left the children in the car and walked in and demanded to see the principle in private.  I let him know in no uncertain terms that he was being a bully and I would not tolerate scare tactics on my children.  I told him I was going to let my children know that this was a joke and I would also inform them that the principle did not have the right to hit them or touch them in any way.  Furthermore....if he ever "did" touched my children in any way that I would sue.  "It is my job to discipline my children.  If you have a problem with them you are to call me and I will administer their discipline - not you!" 

He tried to laugh it off and said, "Well now Mrs. Jansen, calm down.  I don't expect that your children would ever have a problem.  That statement was to get some of our other disciplinary cases in line."

I had to take a deep breath before I continued.  "How dare you!"  He looked startled.  "How dare you use the self-esteem of my children to control other children.  My children should not have to endure fear because you lack the ability to run this school.  You need to re-evaluate your own abilities and leave my children out of it. 

He had nothing more to say and I left.

Whew!  Debbie went overboard?!?!?

No.  I don't think so.  It's important that we stand up for our children.  While we must be careful to evaluate the situation properly and be on the side of right (if your child is doing something wrong...admit it and be part of their discipline) - we must stand up and fight when our children are being exposed to even the hint of wrong.  We have the right to opt our children out of school issues that do not line up with our core beliefs. 

The reasons schools feel they can bully us into their beliefs is because too many people are afraid of causing a scene or afraid of getting involved or are simply too overworked and tired that they don't think they have the time to get involved.

WE MUST get involved or the same thing that happened in the federal government will happen on the school level.  One day we will wake up and find that we've lost many of our freedoms of parenting.

NOW TO THE PROBLEM.....

Today Arizona schools will begin weighing and measuring children.  Those who are deemed overweight will be given a health report card to take home to their parents.  Apparently Arizona doesn't think parents are smart enough to look at their children. 

Gretchen Carlson on Fox and Friends was angry.  "I was a chubby child.  That would have devastated my self-esteem.  How dare they do that to children!"  She's exactly right.  Can you imagine some darling young girl who is a little shy and worried about a few extra pounds - having to stand off to the side while a teacher weighs and measures her body?  Even if they do it in private...other children will be able to tell by the red face and nervous look that it didn't go well. 

My worry is what happens later.  Does the school start monitoring her food?  Does the teacher give her a raised eyebrow if she has chips instead of carrots?  Does the food lady in line cut her portions in half? 

Talk about bullying!  How awful for that child!  Every time that child walks into school she is faced with bullying from a staff that thinks she is overweight.  How embarrassing....how torturous!  Doocey made a great point on the show...."What if the teacher is overweight?  Are they going to give her/him a report card?" 

Going to school should have one goal....to learn facts about our world.  That's it!  They do not have the right to invade your spiritual, moral, cultural, or parenting decisions.

Unfortunately, this isn't the only problem parents are facing.  The NEA wants you to believe that your children have sexual thoughts and agendas at six years old.  They want you to believe that you have no influence over your children.  That you don't have the tools to beat back the evil that wants to overcome and destroy your household!

That's baloney!  Don't believe it. 

We have to go further than that.  We have to fight even the slightest attempt to convince us that we are not capable of handling our child's growth and development.  I will stand with you in your fight!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #11 - Parenting is a building block process

Parenting is a process.  It's impossible to raise a well rounded - well adjusted child who becomes a well rounded - well adjusted adult  if you don't plan ahead and use building blocks.
The building blocks you put in place today will determine how your child views the problems he faces 5 years from now. 

Parenting is a process.  It's important that you take the time to make a list of the traits you want your child to have and then work toward those traits in small increments.

For example, it's impossible to get a 14 year old spoiled brat to understand the value of giving and being unselfish.  That trait takes time to build.  It starts at age two when you ask your toddler to help you feed the dog.  It builds when you demand that he sit in your lap and stay away from his older sister while she opens birthday presents.  It builds when you ask him to be excited and happy for her as she squeals about her gifts.  It grows when you help him sit quietly in grandma's lap as she sings to him.  When he complains about her bad breath or scratchy voice, you teach him the value of love - even when it's hard.  It expands when you help him pick out one of his toys to give to an underpriviledged child.  It makes a giant leap when he willingly offers to rake leaves for an elderly neighbor - without pay.

Parenting a child and giving them all the traits they need to be successful as adults is a process!  Where are you in your process?

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Your Child and Medications

I think sometimes we ask our children to suffer needlessly.  It's important to conquer issues like coughs, colds or viruses and get them under control as quickly as possible.  You don't want those problems to escalate into more serious issues.  I would never advise going against a doctor's advice to use medication to take care of a medical problem and yet.....I do think we need to be good mommy detectives when deciding to administer medicine to children. 

Being a mommy detective in this area means that you try to think outside the box.  Do what many physicians are trained - NOT - to do.  They are trained to look through a microscope and comment on things they have seen.  While studies do "track" individuals to see how medications react over the long term, you need to understand that it's a law of averages at that point.  Basically they interview everyone that's taken the medicine and ask them about their life.  They ask for medical histories and if the individual feels like there have been any problems.  At that point they combine the information (the points they feel are important) with other patients in the study to see if there are any similarities.  From this they decide if there is a long term risk for the patient.

This leaves a lot of speculation and the potential for hidden information to be lost.  That's why a drug can be labeled safe and then years later is determined to be a problem.  That's also why allergies are so hard to detect.  I have an entire page of listed allergies to medications.  A dedicated doctor finally solved my puzzle and decided that I probably wasn't allergic to the actual medication but rather to the binder that held it all together. 

It's important to look at our bodies the way God does.  He placed within us all that we need to survive.  Because we don't like the environment or because the environment has become hazardous to this body - we have invented ways to survive longer.  That's great and I believe God looks at our inventions with a smile.  However, sometimes as flawed humans we can create something that solves one problem and creates ten others.  As parents we have to be our child's protector and determine if one solution can trigger others. 

So...what's a mother to do?  Look at the present effects of the drug.  Ask what portion of your child's body will be affected by the drug.  Determine if it's possible to handle the problem naturally without drug intervention.

For example, I advise mothers of hyper active children to try to avoid mood or nervous system altering drugs if at all possible.  It's a fact that most children with hyperactive tendencies need a plan rather than drugs.  It will require more work from Mom and Dad who may already feel overwhelmed - but in the long run it will prevent a lot of problems. 

Why do I think that?  A definition of the drug quotes, "Ritalin works by changing the amounts of certain natural substances in the brain."  You child grows and changes more during the first 10 years of his life than he ever will.  That includes his brain.  Why would you want to mess with the "natural substances" in the brain at a time when he is developing his cognitive, social, spiritual and intellectual tendencies?  Be careful that you don't allow the urgins of a sympathetic doctor to cloud the need to protect your child. 

As I watch the news I often wonder why certain people act the way they do.  When individuals have trouble processing compassion or understanding how to properly analyze facts or can't understand social interactions - I wonder if their problems with processing information goes back to medications they took as a child.  When I see teens addicted to alcohol or young adults who are hooked on drugs, I wonder if they were given drugs as a child.  I've counseled with several parents who upon a physicians advice gave their pre-schooler prozac and other drugs for anxiety and bad dreams.  Those children are now adults and they deal with all kinds of mental disorders. Is it related?  I can't say for sure.  But, again, I think it's safer to give the growing period an uninterrupted chance to develop properly.  

It is possible to handle most any childhood mental issue with counseling and a plan.

Before giving your child a medication that may change the way he thinks or the way his nervous system works, ask if there is a way to handle the problem without medication.  Think outside the box.  Work within your child's world.  See the problem through his eyes.  And if you still can't come up with a plan....contact me.  There are ways to make sure your child's growth isn't interrupted by drugs.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

I'm Pregnant!

Young couples are so excited when "she" can announce...I'm pregnant!  How exciting!  A new life that looks just like the two of you is being formed.  You are participating in a God-like act.  You will be imortal through the blood line you create. 

But mostly....we are just excited because babies are fun.  Like puppies they smell good, make funny faces, do silly things and are great cuddlers.  We love holding and singing and feeling like this tiny little wonder will achieve every great promise this world has to offer. 

Unfortunately, you are set for a disappointment unless you also realize that every little thing you do from the moment you are pregnant until your child is a successful adult - everything you do matters! 

Yes, you have created a new life.  But the responsibility for that new life doesn't stop with fertilization.  That new life must be created at every point.  You have created a clean slate and with the exception of DNA and a few personality "tendencies", you will determine much of what his/her life is like. 

That's quite a responsibility.  Once the excitment of "I'm pregnant" calms down and the morning sickness sets in...perhaps it's time to consider your new job.  Sometimes your new job will feel like it's the greatest joy in the world.  And sometimes your new job will feel like the greatest weight in the world. 

Just remember, that if you make a plan, pray, become a mommy detective and give your very best.....you and your child will reap the rewards. 

I will be praying for you!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #10 Age appropriate discipline

You can't expect a two year old to understand complicated math.  You also can't expect a five year old to understand what it takes to be president of a large corporation.  And no matter how you try, you will never get a teenager to understand what it feels like to be a grandparent. 

Yet, I've watched parents punish their children because they aren't adults.  They ask a three-year-old to sit quietly for a solid hour without any stimulation and then fuss when the attempt fails.  They demand that a five year old shop all day and when he becomes disagreeable the parental fussing begins.  The barrage of "Wait till I get you home" or "You are being so bad that I'm not going to buy that toy I promised" - begins and the child is taught that he can't trust his parent for his personal needs.

Know what your child is capable of at his age and don't try to push him beyond his personal limits.  Yes....push him to be better mentally or to push a little harder socially.  But don't ask him to ignore his physical and emotional "needs" in order to do something that you want done.

Some of the worst parenting I've ever seen happens in stores and malls.  Children who are pushed way beyond what they are capable of handling are punished for simply being...children.  As the holidays approach I hope that you will be pro-active and make shopping a fun experience for you and your child.

For example, when you take a child shopping (which I always did - it is good training)...start early.  They are best during morning hours when they are refreshed from a restful night.   

Take plenty of snacks, drinks and small toys.  It will be easier for them to wait for you to make a purchase if they have something to do.  Also...to avoid a fuss from you, take items that are inexpensive or insignificant so it won't be a problem if they are lost.  Yes...teach them to be responsible but don't expect perfection from a small child riding in a stroller.

Make sure that if your child is walking, but it's going to be a long day that you take your stroller anyway - or rent one at the mall.  Think of how hard it is for you to walk and wait if your feet hurt or if you are tired.  You don't want to lose your temper if your 5 year old suddenly decides he can't walk any farther.

For small children you may want to schedule an out of the stroller time after every store.  Taking 5 minutes to let them stretch their legs will make the next store trip easier to take.

If your child can't sleep in a stroller, either break up the day by going home for a nap or fix a way for them to sleep in the car.  Some stores now have family friendly rooms where it might be possible for a child to take a nap.

I always gave my child a reason to be good.  We played the one hour game.  For one hour I would shop and they sat in a stroller and played with their toys or ate their snacks.  To engage them I talked as much as possible, "Do you like this?  Do you think Daddy's would want this?  What color is this?" anything to keep them engaged.  After one hour of my shopping I would take them to their fun place or to a toy store for 15 minutes.  They knew they could count on me and that my promise was good!  They were always told they could not buy anything but that they could do what I was doing....shop.  As they got older I purchased watches so they could time me and...learn to tell time. 

Being pro-active will help you survive those difficult times.  Understanding your child's age capabilities will help you to help them.

These hints and more will be in my next booklet...."Goof Proof Holidays!" 

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Giving your child a proper value system

You probably think I'm going to talk about spiritual values or social values or how to give your child a conscience.  While those issues are very important, it's even more important to help your child see the value attached to any project or any personal talent.

One of the saddest problems with some of today's youth is a total disconnect when it comes to judging real value.  Normally I love to talk with young people.  There's nothing more exciting than to see the wheels turning as a young person questions his world.  But lately that's been a little more challenging.  Many parents seem to think that all a child needs to know is what's required in school or in church.  Beyond that their intellect doesn't need stimulation.  Oh they push for athletics but mostly just so their children aren't considered geeks or so they will be exercised properly. 

What's missing is a deep appreciation for talent.  Not the lame excuse for talent, like screeching on a guitar or scratching on a record.  Real talent isn't spitting in a microphone, pulling at body parts or screaming hateful words to the thump, thump of a high school drop out beating an old tin can. 

Real talent takes work.  Real talent involves planning and practice and intelligence.  There's a big difference between a kindergarten stick figure and Norman Rockwell.  There's a big difference in Bach or Beethoven and Sonny Bono.  I like Sonny Bono and I can praise a child who draws a stick figure (hoping later on that I can steer him to some art lessons).  But, I know the difference in their talent.  I also know when to stop and praise "real" talent and when to pass by goofin' around.  It's hard to talk with young people who can't grasp the concept of Experts and the hard work that guided their path.

The question then is do your children know the difference?  Would they pay more to see Lady Ga Ga than to "experience" the Ballet?  Would they be well rounded enough to be able to spend time in an art gallery or would they spend the rest of their lives watching Bridezilla exclusively.

As parents we need to open our children's lives and expand their intelligence.  We need to be sure they can appreciate the finer things as well as enjoy the simplistic.  To give them the best opportunities in life they need to be able to enjoy a football game as well as a piano concert.  I hope your child would be the one who stopped and listened in this following example.

My Dad sent this to me and I was choked up.  How sad that our society can't see the value of "real" talent.

 THE SITUATION

In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After about 3 minutes:  a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:  The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:  A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:  A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:  The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour:  He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded.

There was no recognition at all.  No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . How many other things are we missing as we rush through life? 

What are you teaching your children about beauty and talent???


Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

A little Reminder....You are raising the future!

I know that you are very busy.  Perhaps you have a job outside your home.  You give 100% from 8 to 5 and then it's rush home and continue giving until you fall in bed at night.  Week-ends are no release either.  The children pop up early, there's shopping to do and running around and....whew!  Even if you don't work outside the home, you have just as much to do - sometimes more.  I get tired just writing about your schedule.  Believe me, I don't want to throw anything else into the mixture....and yet....we must be careful not to forget why we are doing all the "stuff" we do.

You are raising the future.  When you start winding down and cutting your schedule in half, that's when your child will be called on to step up and take over.  He/she will make decisions that will either continue this life, create a better one or destroy what our generation has created.  Your child will either take a stand and become a front runner in this way of life or he will stand and be counted with millions of others by influencing his community.  Maybe your child will be a congressman or another millionaire that helps entire communities with his understanding of business.  Maybe your child will be a teacher that influences thousands of children and sends them out into the world to make a difference.  Whatever method your child chooses....he/she will determine what this country is like. 

Your child must know the truth about this country.  Unfortunately, school books can't be trusted.  For that reason, I'm passing on tid bits of history from a trusted website.  http://www.americanminute.com/ daily sends out a short description of someone in history.  I'm now posting those on my Family Tracks blog.  There is also a link in this blog's sidebar (Little girl praying - Title - One Nation Under God) that will take you to a list of those posts. 

I hope you will print these out and read them at the dinner table.  Discuss the Godly ways our forefathers felt about this country.  Give your children a patriotic view of America's history.  If you do....they will make this country better when it's their turn to serve.

And tomorrow.....take your children with you when you vote. Give them a practical lesson in how easy it is to take a stand for what you believe. Show them that being part of the process and using your vote to determine the success of America is the "right" thing to do!
Tomorrow Ron and I will pray for this country as we stand in line to vote. May God bless us now and may he keep his hand on America and give our children the same advantages we have had.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #9 - Don't waffle

Don't waffle and confuse your child.  Mean what you say.  It’s difficult to follow a waffling leader.  Life is confusing enough, don’t make it worse by waffling on rules or family values.  Do your research.  Make sure you are right and apply compassion when needed. 

It is possible to be strong about rules or opinions that you feel are right and still have a process for changing the rules when new information makes it necessary.  For example, the rule may be that eating in bedrooms can't be tolerated because of an insect problem.  But...if the child is sick for a long period of time and can't leave his room - of course the rule must be broken. 

Most children can understand "exceptions" to a rule as long as they know you can be trusted to make the rule fair to everyone at all times.  You may have to do a little more training or a little more explaining....but they will understand if it's presented right.

If you make sure they understand when and how exceptions will be used, you can stick to the demands you have made.  Being a parent that sticks to the rules is not about being mean – it is about showing your child that you can be trusted.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Look in your heart....you'll know...

Be sure and click over to Kyria.com and read my newest article, Does Faith Hide Marital Abuse? 

My last post was about bullies.  Several people were concerned when I said that bullies were parent made.  So much media attention has been placed on a bully's actions rather than on the origin of learning.  We must find the initial cause in order to combat the problem.  Otherwise we are forever dealing with topical symptoms. 

This morning on Fox, one of the contributing judges was talking about a case in Detroit.  You can read about it on Fox News  It's about a little girl who is dying with Huntington's disease.  Apparently she had a birthday party a couple of years ago and didn't invite a neighbor to the party.  The mother was so enraged that she began a cyber bully campaign against the deceased mother (who had died from the same disease) and the living child.  The bullying included driving past the house with a coffin on a trailer, signs of crossbones over the little girl and an interview with reporters where the neighbor said she received great satisfaction from bullying these dying people. 

The judge was commenting on the fact that the DA is currently investigating the possibility of a crime and protective services has taken the bullies two children out of their home.  Good thing!  She's not only seriously disturbed....but her children were learning how to bully and torment others.  All for the sake of an invitation to a party.  Hum...I wouldn't have invited her either.

The judge was really hot under the collar about this one.  I watched as she ranted and raved about how awful this was.  I smiled and thought to myself, "See there.  Most people know where bullies come from, they are just afraid to say it."  That's the way most parenting information is perceived.  We know that parents are responsible for their children, but that doesn't make people feel good.  News media doesn't want to seem like they are preaching.  They don't want anyone to feel bad about their parenting skills.  So we rock along allowing parents to make bad decisions until we are finally faced with a horrible incident like this one. 

The real deal is this.  Look in your heart.  Listen to your children and the people around you.  If it feels wrong or angry or abusive - it probably is.  So stop it!  I've always liked to use the scripture Phillipians 4:8-9
It's great parenting advice!

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.(Debbie's paraphrase - "Parent on these things")  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Children watch everything we do.  If you do it....so will your children.  If you want to have great children who turn into terrific adults - do everything you can to draw a path to greatness.  Your children may surpass you and do even greater things than you have done....but it will probably be walking the same path you walk.  You can do it!  You can give your child a better life.  Set the example high and you'll never regret it!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Bullies - causes and cures

News stations were busy this morning trying to discuss new ways to eliminate bullies in school settings.  Of course they had it wrong.  They want to once again take away your parent's rights and take over the protection and moral training of your child.  Like all the rules about weapons - your child will probably be labeled a bully for praying while the real bully beats up a friend behind the school. As usual the ideas they discussed will not solve the problem and will instead mean more restrictions on you and your child. There are a few things you must know before we begin the conversation.

1.  Bullies are parent made.  They do not just evolve from thin air, chemicals or personality types.  Bullies are a psychological response to the bully child's environment.  And....if it's not handled, the bully child will grow up to be the bully adult.

2.  Children can not change their bully tendencies.  Childhood bullies are changed by the adults that surround them.

3.  Bullies can't be legislated.  You can't get bullies to stop bullying just because you have some new rule or demand some new program.  They draw strength from being singled out and punished.  Bullies are independently made and must be independently reversed.  Yes, bullies need instruction, counseling and help in order to reform, but it is highly unlikely if not impossible for total reform to take place without adult supervision and one on one training.

4.  Being a bully is a response to some deep psychological trauma or frustration that has never been addressed.  If you only treat the symptom (which most school legislation does) the bully will only find a new form to use.  He will not reform from within.

So.....Parents beware......Do not turn the answer for bully reform over to the school - it won't work and it may hamper your parenting style.

How does a Bully get to be a bully?

1.  There is no parenting supervision in the home.  When children are left to fend for themselves one of two things will happen.  They will either become a victim and shrink from the world or they will develop bully tendencies.  It's a child's way to try to have some control over his life before he's ready.  He knows there's a void because the leader (adult) is missing.  To compensate for the fear he feels, he decides to take over his world.  That means he has to assume the "leader" role.  He's usually not prepared or ready for that so his attempt at leadership turns into dominance and a demand that everyone "do what I say".  When other children are not the same as he is or when they have different opinions or lifestyles, he feels it's an attack on his leadership and therefore he must use abuse or embarrassment to be sure they can't ever take over his role.

2.  The parent or home is void of any instruction about compassion or demands to care for others.  When a child is born he lives for over six months with only one goal in mind - self-preservation.  His only thought is to satisfy his own needs for food, stimulation, sleep and interaction.  It is part of the parent's job for the next 18 years to show him how to be compassionate and care for others.

3.  If this "void" of compassion is not trained gradually - the stark difference between self-gratification and compassion can produce rebellion.  To prevent rebellion and a miscommunication about compassion and proper forms of love - the parent must diligently provide proper discipline.  If the parent does not provide the tools for discipline, the child will not be able to fully understand or implement the tools for compassion.

4.  When parents both work full time and do not "make" time to discipline and train on the merits of compassion for others - the child will become either a victim or a bully.

5.  Most of the time children are bullies because mom and dad are bullies.  Anytime you insist that someone else does what you want without considering their feelings - YOU are a bully.  And....because we all know that children watch every move we make - when dad yells and bullies mom, junior learns how to bully.

6.  Parents allow siblings to fight and refuse to help them be compassionate.  Allowing siblings to call each other names or to "enjoy" when their sibling is hurting is not only bad parenting but it eliminates the perfect place to practice compassion.  To require junior to take a food tray to sick sister not only develops kindness and understanding - it promotes love and understanding.  And when junior is sick he will see what an impact that kindness makes in his life when sister is kind to him. 

While the news media is all upset and ready to stomp down a bunch of rules....they are forgetting that the real problem isn't the "one" victim or even multiple victims that have their feelings hurt or endures such intense abuse that they do something stupid.  We must not forget them and yes we should protect them.....but they are not the real problem.  The real problem is the sea of children that are being taught on a daily basis that lack of compassion, lack of manners, lack of intelligence and a bully type personality is okay and in fact is this generations sign of "leadership" and strength.

What?  Think about the reality shows that children watch.  Young people and teens exploding with anger and demands.  Calling a parent or person of authority a crude and horrible name is not only okay but desired.  Using gutter language is the norm.  Last week there was a news report that kindergartners are now using trashy language.  Just where did they learn it?  When moms stopped being shocked at bad language and stopped washing mouths out with soap, children started using it on a regular basis.  Bad language carries an "angry tone" with it.  Anger tendencies go along with lack of discipline and bully tendencies. 

When children are allowed to watch trash on TV that not only shows but also promotes angry delinquent behavior, children will assume that this is the norm.  Parents should provide guidance by saying, "That's a horrible way to act and I wouldn't have any respect for that kind of person. I would avoid that kind of person and would not be their friend.  I refuse to watch bad delinquent behavior." - then good parent - Turn the show off!

That's what our children's great-grandparents would have done.  So why aren't we doing that?  Why don't we promote better parenting, demand that parents of bullies suffer the consequences until they get their child in line and provide children with training on manners and compassion?  That would be attacking the source of the problem rather than the symptom.

So what are you saying Debbie?

I'm saying that when there are bullies in a school....it's Mom and Dad's fault.  The best solution would begin with punishing the parents not the children.  If your child bullies someone, you will have to take a 2 hour  parenting class on discipline and compassion.  (And of course it needs to be a good class and not some progressive mumbo jumbo.)  If your child continues to bully - you will be sent to jail one night for every infraction.  Since there probably would be a lot of parents who need this type of stimulus - the school could be used for overnight incarcerations.  "Bring a sleeping bag and join the lock-up."

Now, I doubt that this would ever happen....but it would finally get parents busy trying to solve the problem of their own little bullies.  When bullies are retrained, there's no need for rules against bullies and everyone would be safe.  I wouldn't have to teach my "Christian" children that Lacy's gay parents are right in their beliefs.  My child would simply know that the polite thing is not to say anything publicly.  And Lacy would also know that she can't bully my child into her beliefs.  We don't need sensitivity training - we need good old fashioned manners!

Of course part of parenting is also training our children to know that "any" belief will come with it's own set of problems.  If you believe in God you will be called on to defend that belief.  And by the same token - if you don't believe in God, you will have to defend that belief.  Learning to seek out the truth so you will have the strength to stand up for it - is part of "maturity".  Hum....of course, parents will have to learn that one first.

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Debbie isn't mad..

Contemporary psychology is like a horse with blinders on.  They decide that something doesn't make a child or an adult feel good, so they go after it with a vengeance - regardless of the consequences.  Their #1 priority is to soothe the feelings of the parent or to keep the child from ever dealing with consequences.  Unfortunately, that is leading us down a very destructive path.  Truth is the only answer to some of the major problems we have.

When it becomes necessary for me to tell parents the truth, I'm not mad at them.  I look at parents in the same way I would want someone to look at me.  If I don't have the facts that I need to make a "good" decision, I hope someone will step in and say...."Debbie, I think you need to reconsider this decision you are about to make.  There are facts you don't have."  And if I don't listen....I hope someone will up the rhetoric and let me know that they have important information for me.   I hope my friends and family will care about the unhealthy consequences I may face and will intervene with new information about my situation.

If I am so thin skinned that I won't listen to good advice and consider it before making a decision ---I DESERVE ANY CONSEQUENCES I MAY HAVE TO ENDURE !

On the other hand, whoever is trying to help me does not have the right to make the decision for me.  They don't have the right to take over.  That would be the definition of slavery.  Like the relationship I try to build with my children - my friends do have the right to try to convince me that the information they have is important to my decision.

THAT IS WHAT I TRY TO DO FOR YOU.   All my blogs as well as my writing has one goal - to give you the information you need to make a great decision for your life!  If my writing isn't doing that - it's worthless.

I am not angry when I talk about contemporary psychologist that produce incompetent information that will ultimately lead parents down the wrong road....I'm just letting you know how dangerous their philosophies are.

I am not angry when I talk about parents who spend more time researching which computer to buy than they do seeking out parenting information that might help their child.  I simply see a train wreck coming and I choose to yell a little louder to "get off the track!"

I'm not even angry when I recall stupid parents ideas that ruin a child's life.  Actually that makes me sad and depressed more than angry.  But....I do choose to become charismatic and energized so I can hopefully help other parents see that those philosophies produce disaster.

What I am committed to is making sure the finger of blame points at the right person.  If that is your child, fine.  If that's society, fine.  But if it's you....I'll point to you - the parent, grandparent, church, school, politician - whoever.  I want to find the person that has the power to change the situation and make him/her responsible.

Why am I telling you all this???

Because the stakes are getting higher and it's time for me to get a little louder about the problems.  I've tried to be as subdued as possible on all my blogs, but the consequences for families are heating up.  If parents don't pay attention to what is coming and make changes in their families - the future for our children will be unbearable. 

It's really hard to write "carefully" so no one's feelings are hurt.  Sometimes I avoid some subjects because I think, "Man....if I present this like I want to my readers will think I'm on a rampage."  Though I promise not to be on a rampage....I do not promise to soothe your feelings.  It's time we take a hard look at the consequences of bad parenting and make a commitment to be the parents God has called us to be.

I hope you are with me!

So.....get ready......Debbie isn't mad - just determined to make a difference!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

This is so true! Thanks Rodney Atkins!

Get out your kleenex and be prepared to get down on your knees!




Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Public school has been infected.....

Twenty years ago when I spoke to a group of young mothers, I encouraged them to keep their children in public schools.  I felt that it was a perfect place for children to "slowly" learn to speak up for their faith and to learn how to handle different opinions. At that time children who went to Christian schools or were home schooled had a difficult time accepting a harsh world once they left the bubble of protection.

I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND.  Public school has been infected with every stupid, anti-Christian, immoral and culturally damaging idea out there.  If you want to see the lowest denominator in our society - visit a public school.  There are many good teachers that are doing their best to combat the tidal wave of indoctrination (like my daughter) but I'm afraid there just aren't enough "strong willed" teachers to combat the coming destruction.

Not only am I concerned about the evil that's taught and the anti-Christian climate our children have to suffer through; I am disgusted by the lack of "intelligence" that we find in these schools.  When I was going to school, you admired the valedictorian.  It was a label of distinction.  Of course, not everyone could achieve it, but we all knew that he/she would go on to succeed in life.  Compare that to now when schools bend over backwards to elevate the dumbest person in the class.  I don't want some rap talking guy who doesn't have enough intelligence to buy the right size pants to graduate, get a job and show up at my house ready to install a water heater.  No way.  Take your baggy pants and stupid talk and get out of my house!

Why on earth would schools think they are helping society to produce dummies that not only don't know the history of this country but also don't have the intelligence to vote much less reproduce.

Can you tell I'm a little upset????

Take a look at this article on GOPUSA written by The Scribe...

OK City students to learn about 'old, dead white men'?

By The Scribe October 7, 2010 7:24 AM

I don't know about you but I'm getting really tired of hearing about the crazy ideas in what passes for education these days. Worse than hearing about it, our children are being subjected to these ideas in schools as though they were lab rats. Here's the latest version of it to cross my desk.

The Oklahoma City public school district is taking a second look at a plan to teach at-risk students using rap and hip-hop after receiving complaints over one lesson referring to the founding fathers as "old dead white men."

The program, known as Flocabulary, is an educational tool that uses rap and hip-hop music to help students learn and memorize basic principles of vocabulary, reading, writing, social studies, math and science. The district was authorized to spend $97,000 in federal funds on the program and has already spent $10,000, NewsOK.com reported.

Are you kidding me? Old Dead White Men??? Our Founders? Everyone in a position of authority in this school district should be fired immediately. Look at the lyrics of one of the Rap songs to be used in this program.

One particularly controversial song entitled "Old Dead White Men,"describes President James Monroe's presidential term by saying: "White men getting richer than Enron. They stepping on Indians, women and blacks. Era of Good Feeling doesn't come with the facts."

"Andrew Jackson thinks he's a tough guy. Killing more Indians than there are stars in the sky. Evil wars of Florida killing the Seminoles. Saying hello, putting Creek in the hell holes. Like Adolf Hitler he had the final solution. 'No, Indians, I don't want you to live here anymore."

Flocabulary CEO and co-founder Alex Rappaport says that the lyrics are meant to keep students engaged and promote discussion. According to the Flocabulary website, its programs are being used in more than 10,000 schools nationwide and are "proven to increase student motivation."

What?? Flocabulary?? What the heck is Flocabulary and why should American parents want their students to learn the hateful trash in that rap song?

The description on their website says, "Flocabulary is a small educational publishing company with a strong commitment to making a positive social impact."

Those lyrics didn't sound very positive to me. Beyond that, I think our children have had enough social impact. How about some good old fashioned instruction that will give them some English, math and science impact for a change? Rap isn't spoken in the real world where these students will be expected to earn their living.

If this really is in 10,000 schools across the nation it may well be in your child's school. What are you going to do about it?
Old Dead White Men   I encourage you to go to the original article and vote in their poll.

In this down economy very few of us have the money to put our child in a "safe" school.  We have to trust God to help our child survive the public school they attend. I believe it can be done.  I've had times of plenty and times of financial desperation.  I've learned that there are hundreds of ways to get the job done "without" money if you are willing to be creative and put in some extra work.  Here's a few tips for surviving public school.

1.  Find the time and a way to meet all your children's teachers, principle and staff.  It will be harder for them to go around you if you are on a first name basis.  Be pleasant and nice but let them know that you will be watching every paper that comes home and that you will be investigating the things that are taught.

2.  There's not much a teacher can do to mess up arithmetic.  But, it's important for you to be involved in the homework assignments and reading material for any class that could be used as social indoctrination.  For example, History can be used to teach socialistic values.  Health can be used to teach liberal views on homosexuality, marriage, dating, etc...  Science can be used to teach against most any Biblical teaching. 

Instead of watching TV, while your child is doing arithmetic - browse through his reading assignment in History.  While he works on Science, check over his homework for health. We must be diligent in protecting history.  Our children are often subjected to a socialist view of America.  Make a game of learning "truthful" history together.  (See end of post for several good books - also check out One Nation Under God posts on the Family Tracks blog)

Instead of telling your child that you are checking up on his school - make it a game.  Insist that you want to be as "Smart as a 5th grader".  Tell him it's easy to forget and you just want to brush up on your knowledge.  Encourage him/her to be the smartest kid in the class.  This will take some creative thinking to make it more appealing than giving in to the norm of being the most "popular" kid in class.  Insist that there is a way to do both!

3.  Once a week have a dinner to discuss current events and what the biblical perspective would be. 

4.  Make a game of discussing one biblical truth anytime you ride in the car.

5.  Have at least one short conversation per week about how a biblical character faced a cruel world and yet became stronger.  If parents could raise men and women in Bible times that could withstand the pressures of a fallen world - surely we can do that now!  (Be sure and purchase my new booklet, How to teach your faith to your child.)

6.  Be involved with their friends.  Don't let the enemy sneak into your home through your child's peers.

7.  Support your child's involvement in a good church.  Belonging and having friends at church will add to his/her strength.  It will also give them the strength to stand up for Christian values when they are attacked or made fun of at school.

8.  Make sure your child understands that if there are problems, you will be his protector.  Politely reassure your child's school that if there are problems in any area that you will stand up for your child. 

9.  Help your child - and the school - understand that there is only one reason your child is attending school....to learn facts and to know the basic principles of reading, writing, math and science.  He/she is not there to find friends, to be indoctrinated with unchristian principles, the teacher is not his parent or his mentor and you are not giving up your rights as parents.  They work for you - not the other way around.

10.  Pray everyday that God will surround your children with his love and protection.  Anoint their books and book bags and pray for God to make them strong. 

Your children can survive and be strong even in public school....you just have to provide a plan.  You can do it!

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

You can find many more books on every founding father patriot at Amazon.com  Please support this blog by using my link to Amazon.  Thank you.

Why would anyone want to have children now?

Our country is in chaos! Our world is on the verge of another world war! Murder, drugs, crime - it's all over America and the world. Why would any young couple want to have children now?

What if your child will be the person God had designed to bring this country back to Him? What if your child was destined to be the next Billy Graham or the next great gospel singer or the mother of the minister that would show millions to Christ? What if your child was God's pick for the president of the United States in 2040? What if your child is one of many that will join together to fight against the loss of our religious freedoms? Maybe she's to be the next great missionary and will have the powerful words that will change millions of muslims or atheists or buddist or whatever to God. What if your child may face danger....but his/her heroic acts will destroy the next Hitler?

"But Debbie, is it fair to bring a child into a life where he may suffer?"

"Suffering is a part of life. We all suffer in many ways. The only thing that makes our measly little lives count is that we Overcome suffering and that we get through those hard times with grace and with honor and with dignity. Avoiding pain while others suffer is the coward's way out. It's sad that even if your child isn't born....you've still made him a coward. You've made the choice for him."

"I'm not making that choice just because I don't want to see him suffer!"

"Yes, you are. You are saying to the world that your bloodline has nothing to offer. You couldn't possibly have a child that would be a strong hero or that would offer ideas and plans for a better future. Your only hope is that you give your child an easy enough time so he wouldn't have to work hard. You have said to the world and more importantly to God that you will not allow your future child the opportunity to be a major player in God's plan? Do you have that right?"

I hope you will watch this terrifying video and tell all your friends about it. The best way to conquer any country or any religion is quietly - by simply over populating them with another culture. God have mercy on us! While we play church and go about our selfish lives....the enemy creeps closer.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz1EMqp341I

Debbie....do you hate muslims? Asolutely NOT! But...I do think their religion or cult or whatever you want to call it is a threat to freedom of religion and other social freedoms. They believe that they have a right to kill infidels and they define that as anyone who is not muslim. When they enter a country it is not with the intent to blend in but rather to force their lifestyle and opinions on others. That is the danger. I have a link in the sidebar that will take you to a websiteIslam - Religion of peace?  that will not only explain what they believe but will also list the ways they intend to carry out their missions. The most striking thing for me was to learn that they believe in lying. Lying to the infidel is not only taught it is rewarded.


I simply think we need to be informed and we need to be pro-active. I can't be the frog that thinks he's soaking in a nice hot tub only to find out too late that he's being boiled to death!



Seeking His Wisdom,
 
Debbie

Amazing Children

While I'm always in favor of allowing children the chance to "enjoy" their childhood....youth is the best place to develop talent.  I hope you enjoy the following amazing children.

TVKim.com         North Korean girl guitarist


Life in North Korea is unlike life anywhere else. Because the country it so closed off, we don't see much of it. But the pieces that leak out are strangely fascinating. That's especially true when it comes to children. North Korean children are extremely disciplined. Take Kang Eunju, for example. She is an amazing guitarist. But even more amazing is the fact that she's still in Kindergarten.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njG_dQC-cnk&feature=player_embedded



You probably remember Connie Talbot from Britain's Got Talent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cnRXmMn2Ag&feature=related

Here's a compilation of pictures with a song off her new CD



When parents want to tell me that hymns are old fashioned and that their children just won't listen to them, I'm going to refer them to two beautiful websites.  First is Rhema Marvanne.com

You'll love hearing her sing Amazing Grace at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDlxmsciqY

The second is a little Zoei Toh. You can find all her videos at http://www.zoeitoh.net/



These children are truly amazing.  Though they are also special....the question remains.  How are you helping your child reach his/her fullest potential.  Even if their talents only consist of bringing you a diaper for little sister....how are you encouraging your child to be their best?

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #8 Have Fun!

Precious Pointer #8   Having fun should be a mandatory rule in your home.

Recently I was at a church party and watched a very good mom with her 3 children.  While the rest of us talked this mom constantly corrected her children.  If your an avid reader...you know how much I talk about training your children.  In this case however, it was evident that the children were being corrected because mom was afraid of being embarrassed in front of her friends. 

You must draw your lines carefully.  While you must train your children, your home needs to be viewed as the best place on earth to be.  That means there must be a marriage of instruction and fun!  After all, the sweetest words a mom or dad can hear is, "I love my parents cause they are fun to be with!" 

Tickle your children. Have fun nicknames. Go on lots of picnics. Laugh at silly movies. Hug them, sit by them, snuggle with them. Let them know they are loved and that you like being with them. All of this will strengthen their self-esteem and make it easier to handle the daily stresses that come along. Children gravitate to people that make them feel good. Make sure you are one of those people.


Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

New items on Family Tracks!

I believe that children will excite and surprise us with their accomplishments if we give them the tools they need to succeed.  I like to watch Glenn Beck because he does his homework.  He not only describes what's going on - he provides resources and videos so you can follow up with your own research.

It's important for the future of our country that our children understand why we have succeeded so far, who we really are and what our founding fathers had in mind when we were created.  But...I understand how difficult it is for any of us to find time in our busy lives to talk about history. 

I found a website that can help.  American Minute whether you support them or not, will send you an e-mail every day about the founding of this country.  If you use the link in the sidebar....you will be directed to the daily short history lessons and my few comments on my Family Tracks blog.  Here's the first link to get you started.  Welcome to One Nation Under God 

I encourage you to take the time to discuss these lessons at the supper table or on the way to soccer.  I know that in time you will be able to help your child love and support America.


Seeking His Wisdom,


Debbie

Public Schools? Really?

A few weeks ago as I sipped my morning coffee, I turned on the news. While listening to the first story I almost snorted coffee out my nose!

The Helena Montana school board wants to teach sex education in the first grade. They feel it's appropriate to explain body parts, what they are for and that it's possible to romantically love someone of the same gender. By the second grade they want to introduce the gay lifestyle and that it's inappropriate to use slurs against gays.

According to KRTV in Montana KRTV news   "By fifth grade, they are taught there are several types of intercourse, and by the sixth grade, the draft document states that students should, "Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration; using the penis, fingers, tongue or objects."

Part of my mission is to help parents understand that children are impressionable. What you do in your home matters. The people that associate with your children matter. The things your children are taught....it matters. In my class, "Your rights in the Public School system" I explain that the school system can not and must not teach moral issues to your child - unless they revert to the 50's bible based value system. Why? Because if the morals of our children are being taught by liberal - motive based - individuals....our children will be indoctrinated with unacceptable views. Sex education in schools is not an attempt to help children is has always been about indoctrinating children to liberal views.
Even 25 years ago when my children were subjected to a mild sex education class that was abstinence based and covered more medical diseases than anything - I opted them out and used the material to teach them myself. I knew they needed my opinions on the subject and needed to be free from the jeers and lude remarks that would inevitably surface in a mixed room of pre-teens. I allowed them to take the test with the others but insisted that if there were questions of moral preference - they must use my explanations not the teachers. My children scored the highest grades in the class. And....my children remained "pure" until marriage.

If you look back to the Montana situation, the school board is saying to parents...."Give us your child at his most vulnerable age ( just 6 years old) and allow us to indoctrinate him/her to our beliefs." They cover their agenda with a smokescreen of "science and health" and make you believe that sexual orientation will only be a small part of the curriculum. What teacher would avoid giving an answer to a question simply because it's not "time" or on her lesson plans for the day.

So... let's look at this with a reality based situation and a logical mind. Let's say that you are a teacher in that school district. You are married but you have a sister that is gay. You are a democrat and very liberal in your thinking. You have no problem with abortion or political correctness as long as it is in favor of liberal thoughts. Your husband reads playboy and you think sexual perversion is a myth. You have no idea of the how many people you slept with before marriage and you are doing just fine. Sex for you is just a bodily function and therefore doesn't deserve any restrictions. Sex involves more science and health than it does purity. You feel superior in this area because you have studied science and not allowed the emotional or spiritual connection to invade the subject of sex. You wouldn't dare be a mean as he is...but you agree with Bill Mauer that most conservatives are just stupid and you need to find a way to enlightened them and force your beliefs for the good of all.

You receive the sex education curriculum as well as five letters from parents warning you not to indoctrinate their children. They ask for the dates you plan to teach this subject because they intend to keep their children home. First you are enraged that these parents have rejected your teaching abilities. Since all five of them are Christians and opposed to the gay lifestyle, you also feel that they have rejected your wonderful sister.

You calm down and decide that you are going to accept their horrible demands and do the best you can to teach their little monsters.

Hum.....Do you think it will be possible to stay neutral? How would you react to any "innocent" remark from that child if it was Christian based? If the subject was initiated by a student two days before the "Christians" were opted out, would you use that opportunity to have your say in front of those children? After all....you have to be responsive to other students too...right? Would you treat the Christian children different?

It has been proven and documented that teachers can't help but respond to a child's personality or behavior in the classroom. Teachers are not robots. Teachers will spend more time helping the polite child than she will helping the trouble maker. That's just human nature! I have a lot of friends and I love most of their children. But even when I'm consciously trying....I find that I have a hard time showing love and interacting with spoiled brats. When a cutie pie darling polite child lifts her hands and wants me to pick her up - I'm all about that. When I see a cutie pie little girl hit her mom in the face - I'm not so quick to want to hold her.

The same is true for teachers and other people that interact with our children. Their beliefs and moral choices will rub off on our children. We are our child's protector and while we should teach them never to be mean to anyone.....we must protect their little minds until our conservative beliefs are fully understood. We are not smothering them, we are simply making sure they have all the facts and aren't called on to make a decision before knowing "all" the facts. The school board president said, "I want children to have the facts so they can intelligently make their own decision." Since when does a six year old even want to make a sexual decision? For them it's still all about cooties and yucky girls or stupid boys. Isn't this an overt attack on the innocence of youth? If a child under the age of 12 can't testify in court because he can be swayed by the interviewer....why would we think a child under 12 can't be swayed by a teacher?

I feel a deep sadness for the children of this country. No child should be exposed to sex before marriage. AND....no child should have to be concerned with the facts until their bodies begin to change. Hollywood, books and unfortunately the public school system has pushed sex on our children and stolen the innocence of childhood. Parents must stop the onslaught!

Will you help? If you can find a way to connect with the Montana parents and give them our support....please let me know and I'll pass addresses on here.

I've always encouraged parents to consider leaving their children in public schools. Not any more. If you can afford it - please consider finding the best Christian school you can. Until we can get them changed, public schools are becoming your child's worst enemy!

What do you think?

Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie

Precious Pointer #7 Set the Bar High

#7 Set the bar high



Precious Pointer #7

Set the bar high.

All humans are capable of more than our finite minds can imagine. Don’t doom your child to a life of mediocrity by accepting low achievement. Rules won’t work. You can’t regulate success. But you can teach your children to reach for the skies. You can promote creative thinking and support a family philosophy of hard work. If you set the bar high and encourage your children to do their best – you will be amazed at their accomplishments.

Seeking His Wisdom,
 
Debbie

Precious Pointer #6 Don't treat your children like dogs.

Precious Pointer #6

Don’t treat your children like dogs.

We feed dogs and provide for their general care. We pet them on the head and maybe take time to housebreak them. After that – they are on their own. Children need more than dogcare. They need training.

Of course, if you follow Ceasar Millan you would know that even dogs become unstable without proper training.....but....for children especially....It’s your job to prepare them for the future – to train them to have a successful and happy life – and that takes time, lots of time.

If you love your children enough to provide lots of training, teaching, counseling, explaining.... the rewards will be staggering.
Seeking His Wisdom,
 
Debbie

Precious Pointer #5 Never Punish bystanders

Precious Pointer #5

Never punish bystanders.

Punishment is an action that should be kept between you and your child.  If your child’s restriction causes disappointment to another child, it will make you the villain rather than the teacher.  Public punishment will cause your child to dislike you rather than evaluating his wrong.  His friends will dislike you and you will become the brunt of jokes.

Think about the feelings of the birthday child or parent when you say no to their invitation. You are punishing them and the success of their plans. Your child will be missing from the party, the guest list will be lower, the parent who spent the money to provide for your child will be disappointed and hurt and the birthday child is minus a gift or his favorite friend. 

Consider the teacher or church that produces a nice play or event but must scramble to find a replacement when your child can’t attend. How will they feel about you when they have to work overtime so you and your child can work out your disagreements. 

It's much better to teach your child that commitments must continue.  Restrict him before and after but not during an event that involves other people.  By being sensitive to their needs you will teach your child to be sensitive to others and to respect you for your compassion.  Never punish bystanders.


Seeking His Wisdom,

Debbie